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Author Topic:   How Do You Treat Your Wife

fester posted 06-13-2002 08:53 PM ET (US)
I want to begin by making it clear that I think I treat my wife great 99 percent of the time. The problem is that one percent which often times occurs when we are traveling with the boat or our 24' camping trailer. To be honest with you, it has never happened with the boat but I am pretending it does so I can post this on the Whaler site without jimh telling me this is a non boating topic. An example of what happens occured last weekend when we went camping at Bass Lake which is about 30 miles from Yosemete National Park. We arrived at the camp ground selected by my wife after dark and I knew I was in trouble. This place was not set up for trailers. When we get to our spot, it is tough to get into and I can't see anything in the dark. My wifes says she will help me. I am careful to tell her that she needs to pay close attention to what I am doing because I can't see a thing. She starts guiding be back telling me everything is fine and then I hit a tree. I get out of the truck somewhat frustrated and tell her in probably too stern of a voice that she has to pay attention when were backing up. She then starts to cry and tells me I should not bark at her. Fortunately, no damage to the trailer. I feel bad for talking to her sternly but I just got frustrated and couldn't help myself. Am I really such a bad guy? How would you guys react in this situation? I have to go now because my wife just walked in.
Jeff
whalernut posted 06-13-2002 09:22 PM ET (US)
I would have reacted the same way, my wife and I yell at each other periodically and when we are incompetant we deserve to be told so firmly and with a stern voice, we have been doing this for years, I am deffinately worse at the yelling game, but I think it is a male ego thing sometimes. Don`t feel bad, especially if it was an isolated incedent and she knows that you were only trying to tell her she was wrong for what she had done. Jack.
whalerfran posted 06-13-2002 09:23 PM ET (US)
After I finish cooking dinner and cleaning the bathrooms, I'll answer your question.
Done Fudgin posted 06-13-2002 09:39 PM ET (US)
Fester boy are you lucky! I had a 22'Prowler and anytime we planned to go camping I would tell my wife "Lets get ready to go early so I can set up before dark". Well, it would never happen that way. I would have the camper packed and hitched and wait all day for her to wash one more thing and/or she would glue the telephone to her ear.By the time we arrived at the campsite it would be dark. Then she would run off with her parents to play Bingo! I would be left with the dog and the mosqito's! And if the screen house wasn't set up when they got back, SHE would be yelling at ME! We decided after 12 years of doing this it was time to get a bigger boat and sell the camper. Boy are we glad,me more than her!
browning20ga posted 06-13-2002 09:44 PM ET (US)
Backing a trailer or boat has to be the hadrest part of marriage. Let the little lady try backing it up next time, cured my problem (ha-ha),
Darrell
Landlocked posted 06-13-2002 09:51 PM ET (US)
Tried that. Don't recommend it. At least not when the ramp is full of eager fishermen waiting to launch.
Ll.
Ed Stone posted 06-13-2002 10:33 PM ET (US)
Here's what works best for me.I tell my
wife to stay in the truck until I get the
boat tied to the dock.When we are loading
the boat I have her and the kids get into
the truck while I load the boat.
When she helps something always seems to
happen that becomes my fault.
I'm one of those who power loads my boat
so there is not much cranking involved.
The way our trailer is set up it cannot
be loaded incorrectly.
Soho posted 06-13-2002 10:37 PM ET (US)
Fester,
Well, you asked for opinions, so here it is, and as usual, worth exactly what you paid for it. Don't bark, unless it really deserves it, and I mean REALLY deserves it ( putting someones life, or their Whaler in mortal danger for instance ) She didn't back you into the tree on purpose, she was probably doing the best she could under the circumstances. Can I assume that 99% of the time she is not making bonehead errors/carelessly spending money/burning the dinner or beating the pets or children... if so, give her the break the 1% of the time something happens when she happens to be on watch. ( Jeeze do I sound like Jerry Springer or what ) But, probably the best thing is that when you do hold back and take things in perspective.. you will feel better yourself. Sort of like it is easy to lash out, it takes a real man to bit his tongue..
Ann Landers out....
Soho posted 06-13-2002 10:41 PM ET (US)
"Bite" not "bit" Sorry.
HONEY, I WILL BE DOWN THERE TO DO THE DISHES WHEN I AM GOOD AND READY AND NOT ONEBEFORE !
Got to go...........
Tsuriki BW posted 06-13-2002 11:08 PM ET (US)
Give your wife a whisle. Explain you are a team and depend on her. Show her where you want the back of the trailer to stop. Determine how far ahead of the stop point you want her to start blowing the whisle. Tweet.........Tweet........(closer) Tweet...Tweet...(closer) Tweet..Tweet..(at the stop point) TWEEEEET.
Believe me it works. ALL tour busses in Japan do this with the guide (girl) "at" the whisle.
Tsuriki
PS. My BMW has the same feature with sensors in the front and back bumper.
Soho posted 06-13-2002 11:19 PM ET (US)
Hey, if you did not have a whistle available you could have your wife stand exactly where you want the trailer to stop and then just back up until "advised" to stop... You can use the same "this is a team exercise" line before starting the exercise....
( I promise to stop posting on this thread now... )
Tuna Man posted 06-13-2002 11:33 PM ET (US)
Fester, you are not alone. Recently a neibhor parked in "my spot" in the street, directly in front of our house. My wife happened to be outside when I arrived after a long day at work. I asked her to tell me when to stop since it was difficult to see the bumper of this sports car. As I was backing up to this tight spot she seemed to "accidently" forget to tell me to stop. I finally stopped when I felt my bumper on the truck hit something. Moral of story, never have wife help back you up when she is ticked off at the neibhor (or mad at anybody else for that mattrer).
Scott
Tsuriki BW posted 06-13-2002 11:38 PM ET (US)
The point of the whisle is that your wife can stand behind the trailer, where you can't see her. She can then watch the left, right and top as well as the back of the trailer. This is really helpful if you are backing a camp trailer in to a campground with lots of trees.
duckfish posted 06-14-2002 12:21 AM ET (US)
I know that this comes from a youngster but... There isn't anything in this world to get worked up about other than someones life. (Even Whalers) Just be thankful that you found someone that you love and are happy to spend the rest of your life with. I forgot this too when my ex-girlfriend stepped on my brand new St.Croix rod but now that theres no one to yell at I think about it in a different way.
duckfish
Jimm posted 06-14-2002 07:46 AM ET (US)
"If Momma isn't happy; no one is happy"
NoviceWhaler posted 06-14-2002 08:49 AM ET (US)
Guys,
Ya'll need to pick 'em better. My wife is an absolute necessity in getting my boat in the water. She's quite expert at driving the truck with the trailer attached, backing the boat into the water, getting the trailer in proper position for the retrieve, as well as helping me in getting the boat onto and off of the trailer.
However, my wife is not your typical wife. She's a forester by trade and spends a substantially greater amount of time outdoors than I do.
However, she's not the only gal I know that performs these boating related tasks. I've got a buddy who's wife (a twice degreed teacher) does all the boat loading/unloading truck related activities.
You guys just need to learn to pick your gals better.
NoviceWhaler
russellbailey posted 06-14-2002 09:39 AM ET (US)
I'm glad I'm not in your spot (though I've been there). Here is how I've resolved it.
We routinely get back from skiing and its pitch dark (smoothest water at dusk and dawn and I can't get anyone to go at dawn), requiring retrieving the boat in darkness (no lights at the ramp) and going through a tight spot in our driveway at home. While my wife is helpful, I find she can't really direct me since she doesn't understand how a trailer backs (arcs and all).
Step one was to install two lights on the back edge of the cap of my pickup - serious backup lights (also useful for tailgaters with their brights on). These illuminate about 50 feet behind the truck. With the boat (which is small and low) I can see pretty much everything. With our cargo trailer, I can't.
I literally will get out and walk around the back multiple times to check when I have an obstructed view. This is slower, but I find it needed since my wife does not understand how a trailer turns and can't direct me well. It works.
On the other hand, with my brother who knows how to back a trailer, I could probably back up with my eyes closed if needed - instructions of "cut", "follow", and the degree needed make it where I don't have to make the decision - my spotter is really deciding and I'm simply carrying out the action.
Good luck.
BOB KEMMLER JR posted 06-14-2002 09:44 AM ET (US)
Well i always let her use the juiciest blood worms and when i make her take the fish off my lines i let her wear gloves.I let her wear whatever she wants as long as its a thong and high heels.JUST KIDDING,i would never let her wear high heels in a boat,those marks are a bear to get up.
Cpt Quint posted 06-14-2002 09:59 AM ET (US)
heck, I didnt know you could take your wife fishing??
InHerNet posted 06-14-2002 10:20 AM ET (US)
Try using two-way personal radios to communicate at night or when you can not see or hear clearly. This works for me. At night, in the rain... She hates it!
RMBW posted 06-14-2002 03:08 PM ET (US)
You guys think you have it bad, my wife has no depth perception when I back up the big Whaler. A near panic every time, unless it is a large parking lot with a straight shot at the ramp. Other than that she, catches the big fish, shoots sheep in Alaska and whitetail in Wisconsin. Never had a fight about buying a Boston Whaler or fishing rod, be it 25' or 130# class. Only problem with the hunting part, is that she shot every firearm I have first, up to the 460 Weatherby Mag.My best compainon next to Bear our black lab. On a slow, hot day on Lake Michigan, I was in the process of throwing her overboard (every year occurance) she was fighting and hanging on to the downrigger when the rod snapped. Her hands were on the fishing rod and she got to land a 25# 15oz Brown Trout. Better her than me, I probably would have gotten two excited and lost it.
STEPHEN posted 06-14-2002 05:30 PM ET (US)
Jeff,
U need the SHUGOTS.She wont leave You and if she does your better off!
Macman posted 06-14-2002 06:26 PM ET (US)
I'm with Novice....my wife can back up the truck and all of the other chores of launching/retrieving. The beauty of this is that I hop in, start the engine, and she has to park the rig and take the long walk back.
Hendrickson posted 06-14-2002 09:48 PM ET (US)
My wife doesn't get involved in this kind of thing. She has driven the vehicle back from the boat ramp when I park the boat at our dock. She would rather dig in the garden when she only has to walk 200 feet to have full use of a Whaler. She did ask me once if I would love her more if she attached a propeller to her backside?
mudpuppy posted 06-15-2002 12:57 AM ET (US)
My 4 year old daughter told me "You can't learn to be a Jedi Master if you don't control your anger".

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Author	Topic: How Do You Treat Your Wife
fester	posted 06-13-2002 08:53 PM ET (US) I want to begin by making it clear that I think I treat my wife great 99 percent of the time. The problem is that one percent which often times occurs when we are traveling with the boat or our 24' camping trailer. To be honest with you, it has never happened with the boat but I am pretending it does so I can post this on the Whaler site without jimh telling me this is a non boating topic. An example of what happens occured last weekend when we went camping at Bass Lake which is about 30 miles from Yosemete National Park. We arrived at the camp ground selected by my wife after dark and I knew I was in trouble. This place was not set up for trailers. When we get to our spot, it is tough to get into and I can't see anything in the dark. My wifes says she will help me. I am careful to tell her that she needs to pay close attention to what I am doing because I can't see a thing. She starts guiding be back telling me everything is fine and then I hit a tree. I get out of the truck somewhat frustrated and tell her in probably too stern of a voice that she has to pay attention when were backing up. She then starts to cry and tells me I should not bark at her. Fortunately, no damage to the trailer. I feel bad for talking to her sternly but I just got frustrated and couldn't help myself. Am I really such a bad guy? How would you guys react in this situation? I have to go now because my wife just walked in. Jeff
whalernut	posted 06-13-2002 09:22 PM ET (US) I would have reacted the same way, my wife and I yell at each other periodically and when we are incompetant we deserve to be told so firmly and with a stern voice, we have been doing this for years, I am deffinately worse at the yelling game, but I think it is a male ego thing sometimes. Don`t feel bad, especially if it was an isolated incedent and she knows that you were only trying to tell her she was wrong for what she had done. Jack.
whalerfran	posted 06-13-2002 09:23 PM ET (US) After I finish cooking dinner and cleaning the bathrooms, I'll answer your question.
Done Fudgin	posted 06-13-2002 09:39 PM ET (US) Fester boy are you lucky! I had a 22'Prowler and anytime we planned to go camping I would tell my wife "Lets get ready to go early so I can set up before dark". Well, it would never happen that way. I would have the camper packed and hitched and wait all day for her to wash one more thing and/or she would glue the telephone to her ear.By the time we arrived at the campsite it would be dark. Then she would run off with her parents to play Bingo! I would be left with the dog and the mosqito's! And if the screen house wasn't set up when they got back, SHE would be yelling at ME! We decided after 12 years of doing this it was time to get a bigger boat and sell the camper. Boy are we glad,me more than her!
browning20ga	posted 06-13-2002 09:44 PM ET (US) Backing a trailer or boat has to be the hadrest part of marriage. Let the little lady try backing it up next time, cured my problem (ha-ha), Darrell
Landlocked	posted 06-13-2002 09:51 PM ET (US) Tried that. Don't recommend it. At least not when the ramp is full of eager fishermen waiting to launch. Ll.
Ed Stone	posted 06-13-2002 10:33 PM ET (US) Here's what works best for me.I tell my wife to stay in the truck until I get the boat tied to the dock.When we are loading the boat I have her and the kids get into the truck while I load the boat. When she helps something always seems to happen that becomes my fault. I'm one of those who power loads my boat so there is not much cranking involved. The way our trailer is set up it cannot be loaded incorrectly.
Soho	posted 06-13-2002 10:37 PM ET (US) Fester, Well, you asked for opinions, so here it is, and as usual, worth exactly what you paid for it. Don't bark, unless it really deserves it, and I mean REALLY deserves it ( putting someones life, or their Whaler in mortal danger for instance ) She didn't back you into the tree on purpose, she was probably doing the best she could under the circumstances. Can I assume that 99% of the time she is not making bonehead errors/carelessly spending money/burning the dinner or beating the pets or children... if so, give her the break the 1% of the time something happens when she happens to be on watch. ( Jeeze do I sound like Jerry Springer or what ) But, probably the best thing is that when you do hold back and take things in perspective.. you will feel better yourself. Sort of like it is easy to lash out, it takes a real man to bit his tongue.. Ann Landers out....
Soho	posted 06-13-2002 10:41 PM ET (US) "Bite" not "bit" Sorry. HONEY, I WILL BE DOWN THERE TO DO THE DISHES WHEN I AM GOOD AND READY AND NOT ONEBEFORE ! Got to go...........
Tsuriki BW	posted 06-13-2002 11:08 PM ET (US) Give your wife a whisle. Explain you are a team and depend on her. Show her where you want the back of the trailer to stop. Determine how far ahead of the stop point you want her to start blowing the whisle. Tweet.........Tweet........(closer) Tweet...Tweet...(closer) Tweet..Tweet..(at the stop point) TWEEEEET. Believe me it works. ALL tour busses in Japan do this with the guide (girl) "at" the whisle. Tsuriki PS. My BMW has the same feature with sensors in the front and back bumper.
Soho	posted 06-13-2002 11:19 PM ET (US) Hey, if you did not have a whistle available you could have your wife stand exactly where you want the trailer to stop and then just back up until "advised" to stop... You can use the same "this is a team exercise" line before starting the exercise.... ( I promise to stop posting on this thread now... )
Tuna Man	posted 06-13-2002 11:33 PM ET (US) Fester, you are not alone. Recently a neibhor parked in "my spot" in the street, directly in front of our house. My wife happened to be outside when I arrived after a long day at work. I asked her to tell me when to stop since it was difficult to see the bumper of this sports car. As I was backing up to this tight spot she seemed to "accidently" forget to tell me to stop. I finally stopped when I felt my bumper on the truck hit something. Moral of story, never have wife help back you up when she is ticked off at the neibhor (or mad at anybody else for that mattrer). Scott
Tsuriki BW	posted 06-13-2002 11:38 PM ET (US) The point of the whisle is that your wife can stand behind the trailer, where you can't see her. She can then watch the left, right and top as well as the back of the trailer. This is really helpful if you are backing a camp trailer in to a campground with lots of trees.
duckfish	posted 06-14-2002 12:21 AM ET (US) I know that this comes from a youngster but... There isn't anything in this world to get worked up about other than someones life. (Even Whalers) Just be thankful that you found someone that you love and are happy to spend the rest of your life with. I forgot this too when my ex-girlfriend stepped on my brand new St.Croix rod but now that theres no one to yell at I think about it in a different way. duckfish
Jimm	posted 06-14-2002 07:46 AM ET (US) "If Momma isn't happy; no one is happy"
NoviceWhaler	posted 06-14-2002 08:49 AM ET (US) Guys, Ya'll need to pick 'em better. My wife is an absolute necessity in getting my boat in the water. She's quite expert at driving the truck with the trailer attached, backing the boat into the water, getting the trailer in proper position for the retrieve, as well as helping me in getting the boat onto and off of the trailer. However, my wife is not your typical wife. She's a forester by trade and spends a substantially greater amount of time outdoors than I do. However, she's not the only gal I know that performs these boating related tasks. I've got a buddy who's wife (a twice degreed teacher) does all the boat loading/unloading truck related activities. You guys just need to learn to pick your gals better. NoviceWhaler
russellbailey	posted 06-14-2002 09:39 AM ET (US) I'm glad I'm not in your spot (though I've been there). Here is how I've resolved it. We routinely get back from skiing and its pitch dark (smoothest water at dusk and dawn and I can't get anyone to go at dawn), requiring retrieving the boat in darkness (no lights at the ramp) and going through a tight spot in our driveway at home. While my wife is helpful, I find she can't really direct me since she doesn't understand how a trailer backs (arcs and all). Step one was to install two lights on the back edge of the cap of my pickup - serious backup lights (also useful for tailgaters with their brights on). These illuminate about 50 feet behind the truck. With the boat (which is small and low) I can see pretty much everything. With our cargo trailer, I can't. I literally will get out and walk around the back multiple times to check when I have an obstructed view. This is slower, but I find it needed since my wife does not understand how a trailer turns and can't direct me well. It works. On the other hand, with my brother who knows how to back a trailer, I could probably back up with my eyes closed if needed - instructions of "cut", "follow", and the degree needed make it where I don't have to make the decision - my spotter is really deciding and I'm simply carrying out the action. Good luck.
BOB KEMMLER JR	posted 06-14-2002 09:44 AM ET (US) Well i always let her use the juiciest blood worms and when i make her take the fish off my lines i let her wear gloves.I let her wear whatever she wants as long as its a thong and high heels.JUST KIDDING,i would never let her wear high heels in a boat,those marks are a bear to get up.
Cpt Quint	posted 06-14-2002 09:59 AM ET (US) heck, I didnt know you could take your wife fishing??
InHerNet	posted 06-14-2002 10:20 AM ET (US) Try using two-way personal radios to communicate at night or when you can not see or hear clearly. This works for me. At night, in the rain... She hates it!
RMBW	posted 06-14-2002 03:08 PM ET (US) You guys think you have it bad, my wife has no depth perception when I back up the big Whaler. A near panic every time, unless it is a large parking lot with a straight shot at the ramp. Other than that she, catches the big fish, shoots sheep in Alaska and whitetail in Wisconsin. Never had a fight about buying a Boston Whaler or fishing rod, be it 25' or 130# class. Only problem with the hunting part, is that she shot every firearm I have first, up to the 460 Weatherby Mag.My best compainon next to Bear our black lab. On a slow, hot day on Lake Michigan, I was in the process of throwing her overboard (every year occurance) she was fighting and hanging on to the downrigger when the rod snapped. Her hands were on the fishing rod and she got to land a 25# 15oz Brown Trout. Better her than me, I probably would have gotten two excited and lost it.
STEPHEN	posted 06-14-2002 05:30 PM ET (US) Jeff, U need the SHUGOTS.She wont leave You and if she does your better off!
Macman	posted 06-14-2002 06:26 PM ET (US) I'm with Novice....my wife can back up the truck and all of the other chores of launching/retrieving. The beauty of this is that I hop in, start the engine, and she has to park the rig and take the long walk back.
Hendrickson	posted 06-14-2002 09:48 PM ET (US) My wife doesn't get involved in this kind of thing. She has driven the vehicle back from the boat ramp when I park the boat at our dock. She would rather dig in the garden when she only has to walk 200 feet to have full use of a Whaler. She did ask me once if I would love her more if she attached a propeller to her backside?
mudpuppy	posted 06-15-2002 12:57 AM ET (US) My 4 year old daughter told me "You can't learn to be a Jedi Master if you don't control your anger".