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Author Topic:   Mom, the surprising sailor....rest in peace

Sheila posted 10-13-2008 09:55 AM ET (US)
On Saturday I had the honor of eulogizing my mother, who died on September 30 after a valiant three month battle with an aggressive cancer.
One of my comments was that Mom was brave. I gave an example of only a few sentences' length about her going along to chaperone my daughter's high school band in LAS VEGAS, of all places, when she was out for a visit with me in 2000. Herding 17 year olds around Sin City is not for the faint of heart!
The story I really wanted to share was too long for the eulogy, so I'd like to tell it here.
I bought my Revenge 25 in early November of 2004. When my parents came out for Thanksgiving, we invited them on a boat ride. I told my mother that the marina had a lot of nice shops and if she preferred that she and I could roam the shops while the boys took the boat out. I said that because my mother was absolutely terrified of the water. As a child in the era of polio, her mother kept her away from swimming pools and Mom never learned to be comfortable in, or to enjoy, the water.
When they arrived at the slip the water was choppy. I told Mom that it would be a bit rough and she and I could shop, if she liked. She said "no, you wanted me to see your new boat. Let's go." I fitted her and Dad with PFDs and off we went.
We cast off and motored out of the slip. First big surprise: Mom says, "Look. There's a sea lion off the port bow." I had no clue that my mother had any idea of what the bow was and which side was port.
When we got out to the harbor entrance the water was choppy and we could see whitecaps. I asked Mom if she wanted to stay in the harbor. She said, "No, let's go on out a little." So out we went.
Mom must have made thirty comments that day that indicated to me that she knew a bit about boats. She wasn't exactly enthusiastic during our little tour, but she appeared calm and like she was enjoying the ride. Turns out she'd been out fishing with her dad as a young girl and still remembered all the things he'd taught her.
When we returned to the slip we went out to lunch. I asked Mom if she would like to go out again sometime. She smiled and said, "No, once was enough." I said, "Did you have fun?" She said, "Not fun, exactly. But it was nice to spend the time with you, and I know how much you love your boat, so I wanted to see it and enjoy it with you."
That was my mom.
ukuslayer posted 10-13-2008 10:00 AM ET (US)
Very nice Sheila,
Sorry for your loss, She sounds like she was one of the great ones.
Aloha Sean,
erik selis posted 10-13-2008 10:35 AM ET (US)
Sorry for your loss Sheila. My condolences. That was a nice story about your Mom. She must have been very brave to be able to share that moment with you as she knew how much you enjoyed your boat. Very touching...
Erik

zotcha posted 10-13-2008 11:04 AM ET (US)
It's been eight years since I lost my mom, and you just broke me. My condolences Sheila. Godspeed. zotcha.
Sal A posted 10-13-2008 11:24 AM ET (US)
I am sorry Sheila. We have had our share of losses here in Chatham NJ in 2008, and it has just been one bear of a year. I hope you remember all the good stuff and it makes you smile.
jmorgan40 posted 10-13-2008 11:26 AM ET (US)
Sheila,
Great story. My thoughts and prayers go out to you on your loss.
Joe
andygere posted 10-13-2008 11:40 AM ET (US)
Sheila, you are in our thoughts and prayers.
-Andy and Nancy
HuronBob posted 10-13-2008 03:13 PM ET (US)
Sheila,
I'm glad you have those sorts of memories....
My thoughts are with you...
Bob
SpongeBob posted 10-13-2008 07:30 PM ET (US)
Sheila you have my condolences. We all know we have to experience this loss, but knowing never prepares us for the reality that it is. Thank you for sharing the story with us, a perfect example what parenting is really about.
Jeff
deepwater posted 10-13-2008 07:40 PM ET (US)
moms are tough ,, i know mine was because i sat with her the last 24 hrs of her life ,,now i get up everyday shower and shave put on my gun and look myself in the eye and promise to come home to my sons mom,, i think about my mom at sunset,,she loved sunsets,,i feel for your loss and think of your mom every time you go on the water its what she gave to you to be with you ,,,,,no matter what,,,she went because you loved the water
Ritzyrags posted 10-13-2008 08:37 PM ET (US)
Hey Sheila,
On behalf of all the gang here,We sympathize with you loss.
May you find the good memories to keep and recall as time goes on.
Wishing You well, in these times of mourning.
Serge.
Nails posted 10-13-2008 08:43 PM ET (US)
Sheila: That's a lovely, loving story. It appears your relationship with her was complete and I suspect that although you will miss her, you'll be okay.
Good luck and God bless.
Jerry Townsend posted 10-13-2008 08:45 PM ET (US)
Sheila - my condolences - and to be sure, you mom wasn't having much fun with cancer. And now, you have your memories - and more memories - and they will all be good and they will keep coming forever. Sometimes you will just smile or chuckle - and those close to you will know that you are thinking of your mom.
Your mom chaperoning her granddaughter's band group to Vegas would not be done by many grandmothers! And I would bet that you, your daughter and your mother were equally proud of the occasion.
And your mom sure was not going to spoil her day with you - and miss being on your new boat. Shopping? we can do that any day. -- Jerry/Idaho
high sierra posted 10-13-2008 09:51 PM ET (US)
Sheila, take care. high sierra
LuckyLady posted 10-14-2008 04:47 AM ET (US)
Sheila, When I lost my mother, I always was thankful that we have only 'one' mother. Could never go through that lost again.
I feel for you.
May God fill the emptyness whthin your heart at this time.
Rene'
Sheila posted 10-14-2008 10:58 AM ET (US)
Thanks, everyone. Your words ring with truth.
poker13 posted 10-14-2008 08:00 PM ET (US)
My condolences, Sheila. I lost my mom too almost a year and a half ago. We're only passing through.
Menemsha69 posted 10-15-2008 05:48 AM ET (US)
Sheila- my condolences for your loss, that's gotta be tough. Thanks for reaching out to us, we haven't heard enough from you lately! -k
Tele65 posted 10-15-2008 07:07 AM ET (US)

So sorry for your loss but what your mom told you that day is so precious and profound that will be with you for the rest of your life.
Anyone of us should endeavour to leave the same sentiment in our kid's hearts.
Hugs
Fabio
mgeiger posted 10-15-2008 08:24 AM ET (US)
Best on-the-water memory of my Mom: My folks had a cabin on the north end of Lake Lanier. She'd tie her floating lounge chair to our dock - and float in her Big ol Jackie O glasses with a Martini or beer in hand. (this is late 70s). She'd usually fall asleep. One day my brother and I untied her, setting her adrift. She didn't wake up until she was about half a mile down the cove. She was a good sport...
kamie posted 10-18-2008 11:43 AM ET (US)
Sheila,
sorry about loosing your mom. I agree with Rene', glad we only have one because one is hard enough to loose.
I did a photo collage of my mom when she passed and my favorite photo is one taken about 1 year before I was born. She is outside my grandparents cottage in Lake Geneva, WI holding a big string of fish and grinning from ear to ear. When I was young she was an avid swimmer, beach bum and water skier. While my mom never saw my whaler, I am sure she would have loved it as much as I do.

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Author	Topic: Mom, the surprising sailor....rest in peace
Sheila	posted 10-13-2008 09:55 AM ET (US) On Saturday I had the honor of eulogizing my mother, who died on September 30 after a valiant three month battle with an aggressive cancer. One of my comments was that Mom was brave. I gave an example of only a few sentences' length about her going along to chaperone my daughter's high school band in LAS VEGAS, of all places, when she was out for a visit with me in 2000. Herding 17 year olds around Sin City is not for the faint of heart! The story I really wanted to share was too long for the eulogy, so I'd like to tell it here. I bought my Revenge 25 in early November of 2004. When my parents came out for Thanksgiving, we invited them on a boat ride. I told my mother that the marina had a lot of nice shops and if she preferred that she and I could roam the shops while the boys took the boat out. I said that because my mother was absolutely terrified of the water. As a child in the era of polio, her mother kept her away from swimming pools and Mom never learned to be comfortable in, or to enjoy, the water. When they arrived at the slip the water was choppy. I told Mom that it would be a bit rough and she and I could shop, if she liked. She said "no, you wanted me to see your new boat. Let's go." I fitted her and Dad with PFDs and off we went. We cast off and motored out of the slip. First big surprise: Mom says, "Look. There's a sea lion off the port bow." I had no clue that my mother had any idea of what the bow was and which side was port. When we got out to the harbor entrance the water was choppy and we could see whitecaps. I asked Mom if she wanted to stay in the harbor. She said, "No, let's go on out a little." So out we went. Mom must have made thirty comments that day that indicated to me that she knew a bit about boats. She wasn't exactly enthusiastic during our little tour, but she appeared calm and like she was enjoying the ride. Turns out she'd been out fishing with her dad as a young girl and still remembered all the things he'd taught her. When we returned to the slip we went out to lunch. I asked Mom if she would like to go out again sometime. She smiled and said, "No, once was enough." I said, "Did you have fun?" She said, "Not fun, exactly. But it was nice to spend the time with you, and I know how much you love your boat, so I wanted to see it and enjoy it with you." That was my mom.
ukuslayer	posted 10-13-2008 10:00 AM ET (US) Very nice Sheila, Sorry for your loss, She sounds like she was one of the great ones. Aloha Sean,
erik selis	posted 10-13-2008 10:35 AM ET (US) Sorry for your loss Sheila. My condolences. That was a nice story about your Mom. She must have been very brave to be able to share that moment with you as she knew how much you enjoyed your boat. Very touching... Erik
zotcha	posted 10-13-2008 11:04 AM ET (US) It's been eight years since I lost my mom, and you just broke me. My condolences Sheila. Godspeed. zotcha.
Sal A	posted 10-13-2008 11:24 AM ET (US) I am sorry Sheila. We have had our share of losses here in Chatham NJ in 2008, and it has just been one bear of a year. I hope you remember all the good stuff and it makes you smile.
jmorgan40	posted 10-13-2008 11:26 AM ET (US) Sheila, Great story. My thoughts and prayers go out to you on your loss. Joe
andygere	posted 10-13-2008 11:40 AM ET (US) Sheila, you are in our thoughts and prayers. -Andy and Nancy
HuronBob	posted 10-13-2008 03:13 PM ET (US) Sheila, I'm glad you have those sorts of memories.... My thoughts are with you... Bob
SpongeBob	posted 10-13-2008 07:30 PM ET (US) Sheila you have my condolences. We all know we have to experience this loss, but knowing never prepares us for the reality that it is. Thank you for sharing the story with us, a perfect example what parenting is really about. Jeff
deepwater	posted 10-13-2008 07:40 PM ET (US) moms are tough ,, i know mine was because i sat with her the last 24 hrs of her life ,,now i get up everyday shower and shave put on my gun and look myself in the eye and promise to come home to my sons mom,, i think about my mom at sunset,,she loved sunsets,,i feel for your loss and think of your mom every time you go on the water its what she gave to you to be with you ,,,,,no matter what,,,she went because you loved the water
Ritzyrags	posted 10-13-2008 08:37 PM ET (US) Hey Sheila, On behalf of all the gang here,We sympathize with you loss. May you find the good memories to keep and recall as time goes on. Wishing You well, in these times of mourning. Serge.
Nails	posted 10-13-2008 08:43 PM ET (US) Sheila: That's a lovely, loving story. It appears your relationship with her was complete and I suspect that although you will miss her, you'll be okay. Good luck and God bless.
Jerry Townsend	posted 10-13-2008 08:45 PM ET (US) Sheila - my condolences - and to be sure, you mom wasn't having much fun with cancer. And now, you have your memories - and more memories - and they will all be good and they will keep coming forever. Sometimes you will just smile or chuckle - and those close to you will know that you are thinking of your mom. Your mom chaperoning her granddaughter's band group to Vegas would not be done by many grandmothers! And I would bet that you, your daughter and your mother were equally proud of the occasion. And your mom sure was not going to spoil her day with you - and miss being on your new boat. Shopping? we can do that any day. -- Jerry/Idaho
high sierra	posted 10-13-2008 09:51 PM ET (US) Sheila, take care. high sierra
LuckyLady	posted 10-14-2008 04:47 AM ET (US) Sheila, When I lost my mother, I always was thankful that we have only 'one' mother. Could never go through that lost again. I feel for you. May God fill the emptyness whthin your heart at this time. Rene'
Sheila	posted 10-14-2008 10:58 AM ET (US) Thanks, everyone. Your words ring with truth.
poker13	posted 10-14-2008 08:00 PM ET (US) My condolences, Sheila. I lost my mom too almost a year and a half ago. We're only passing through.
Menemsha69	posted 10-15-2008 05:48 AM ET (US) Sheila- my condolences for your loss, that's gotta be tough. Thanks for reaching out to us, we haven't heard enough from you lately! -k
Tele65	posted 10-15-2008 07:07 AM ET (US) So sorry for your loss but what your mom told you that day is so precious and profound that will be with you for the rest of your life. Anyone of us should endeavour to leave the same sentiment in our kid's hearts. Hugs Fabio
mgeiger	posted 10-15-2008 08:24 AM ET (US) Best on-the-water memory of my Mom: My folks had a cabin on the north end of Lake Lanier. She'd tie her floating lounge chair to our dock - and float in her Big ol Jackie O glasses with a Martini or beer in hand. (this is late 70s). She'd usually fall asleep. One day my brother and I untied her, setting her adrift. She didn't wake up until she was about half a mile down the cove. She was a good sport...
kamie	posted 10-18-2008 11:43 AM ET (US) Sheila, sorry about loosing your mom. I agree with Rene', glad we only have one because one is hard enough to loose. I did a photo collage of my mom when she passed and my favorite photo is one taken about 1 year before I was born. She is outside my grandparents cottage in Lake Geneva, WI holding a big string of fish and grinning from ear to ear. When I was young she was an avid swimmer, beach bum and water skier. While my mom never saw my whaler, I am sure she would have loved it as much as I do.