Off topic - but important to you young parents and grandparents.

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Author Topic:   Off topic - but important to you young parents and grandparents.

Buckda posted 07-09-2010 01:14 PM ET (US)
Dear forum members,
Please allow me some latitude with this post, as I hope this might spare you some personal trauma and/or tragedy.
Yesterday evening, there was an auto-pedestrian accident in my community. The driver of the auto was heading home after work. The route led him past a public park on a busy city street.
A young boy was walking on the sidewalk with his basketball in hand. He lost control of the ball and it bounced into the street…
I think you can see where this is going. And until yesterday, I’d probably tell you that such stories are perhaps “enhanced” by well-meaning citizens – to both scare children into doing the right thing and thinking about consequences, and to keep drivers alert behind the wheel.
I can tell you that these stories aren’t enhanced. And the physical trauma and emotional consequences of an accident like this aren’t enhanced either.
I know this with certainty, because I was the driver of the vehicle.
Fortunately, and with the grace of God, the boy survived and appears to have only minor injuries. It was a relatively low-speed impact in a 25 MPH speed zone, and I had about 15 feet to decelerate further before he disappeared out of my vision.
Tell your kids how difficult it is to stop for them in time. I’m not a parent, so I don’t know the proper way to deliver this message to a kid without scaring him needlessly or messing him up mentally – but make sure your kids understand. This needs to be right up there with the basics like “Don’t talk to strangers”.
Don’t rely on you being there to prevent it either. This boy was walking with his mother. I’m sure she was yelling at him when he went after the ball, but it was too late.
Not that it matters much right now – or at all to this young family, but I’ve been just sick all night and all morning, and my heart just breaks when I think about it.
Lots of you moor your boats at marinas near busy roads, some of you live along them. Perhaps this – in the midst of summer – is a good time to remind them that balls and toys can be retrieved from the road by an adult or older sibling – and only when traffic is clear. I’m sure this mother would have bought 100 new basketballs rather than go through the experience of watching her son be hit. I know I would be on my way to Wal-Mart right now if you gave me the choice.
Thank you for listening.

dscew posted 07-09-2010 01:40 PM ET (US)
I just read your post; very well said. As a practitioner who has spent many hours caring for accident victims in a level 1 trauma center emergency room, I can imagine what you're going through, and what the family of this little boy is bearing, too. I've seen the faces of both. It's nothing short of absolute anguish.
I also have two daughters, both now grown, and my wife and I both continually talk to them about what can happen out there, no matter how defensive you are about driving. Believe me, it can happen to anyone, I'm sorry you're in this situation. I'm overjoyed it wasn't worse, and also happy you recognize the many dangers out there.
rgy posted 07-09-2010 01:53 PM ET (US)
[W]ow, sorry that happened but glad all seems fine!
[Changed TOPIC of discussion to something completely unrelated. Please start a new thread if you wish to change the topic to something completely unrelated. Thank you. --jimh.]
contender posted 07-09-2010 02:20 PM ET (US)
Buckda: I hope the parents are as sorry as you are, I think that all three of you (as bad as it sounds) all learned a lesson. The most important thing is that everyone is OK. The sad thing is, I hope the parents of the boy clearly understand that it was AN Accident and do not come after you. I say this because when I was eight I also was struck by a car, The elderly man that struck me did not see me in the crosswalk,(I was clearly in the right with witnesses). I cold not walk for 2 weeks, lucky nothing was broken,(tell that to an 8 year old in the summer time). My parents were forgiving, I know the man was ticketed and I got to pick out any bike I wanted. Hope it works out for you the same....God Bless
Whaler_bob posted 07-09-2010 02:22 PM ET (US)
Luckily, you were in a speed zone and were obeying the posted limits. Things would have been considerably worse for both parties at 35-50mph.
It seems speed limits are not enforced on secondary roads any longer. My street (100% residential- without a yellow line down the middle) has a town speed limit of 30Mph- about two years back we had a cop with RADAR set up on a side street for an afternoon pointing his set-up at our road. I was walking my dog near his car and asked him what was the fastest speed he recorded that afternoon- he said "over 60-MPH". It's just amazing how careless and thoughtless people are while driving. If you were doing 60Mph and that kid darted out in front of your car.... you'd be attending a funeral this weekend.
Best wishes to both parties!
10000 Lakes posted 07-09-2010 03:02 PM ET (US)
I am so sorry for your mishap Buckda. The big guy was watching over both of you. You did nothing wrong at all. The boy will learn in the future not to chase a ball into a street much the same as we all learned what brakes were while riding down a hill on a cart we had built. Again..all around it is an accident that no one could predict.
One thing I witnessed last year while paying at the window of a McDonalds was a young female in a red Grand Am go right through a red light and hit a pedestrian. The man was killed as a result. The young girl was texting while driving as I found out while in the local barber shop a month later. One of the Officers that did the investigation on this accident was talking about it while getting his haircut. This sort of accident never needed to happen at all.
I wish the whole texting thing could be stopped and made illegal period by the Fed's. I see no real value in it.The cell companies are greedy and will do anything to make a buck though they know the risks.
Buckda posted 07-09-2010 03:10 PM ET (US)
I'm just thankful I saw the ball bounce into the street and was already preparing to hit it - and was on the brakes. When the boy darted after it, I added the horn and everything went slow motion. That damn truck doesn't exactly stop on a dime anyway.
I was not found at fault - but it doesn't mean that I haven't (and won't) replay that moment forever in my head. It's not exactly something that is easy to forget.
Hug your kids. I love them too, which is why this was so tough. I am a reading mentor to some elementary boys at a local school for the United Way and this could easily have been one of my students.
LuckyLady posted 07-09-2010 03:45 PM ET (US)
Dave, So scary what happen.
Thank God it wasn't worse.
So often I have thought what would I do if I did injure or was responsible for a death with my car. I am mortified just
sitting here writing these words.
You are a good and caring man Dave. There are people out there that would have said: "Stupid kid!" Then gone on without giving it a second thought.
Rene'
pcrussell50 posted 07-09-2010 04:00 PM ET (US)
Wow, Dave. Heavy. And a huge sigh of relief on the outcome.
Seriously hoping you are able to avoid legal action. While it's obvious you have no culpability whatsoever, our tort system has shown again and again, that complete lack of culpability is not the least bit of an impediment to legal liability.
Best,
Peter
L H G posted 07-09-2010 05:42 PM ET (US)
Dave - Put your insurance Company on notice. You'll probably be hearing from a Personal Injury lawyer regardless of the circumstances. This will fall under the liability section of your policy, as Michigan No Fault only applies in vehicle-to-vehicle accidents.
rkatz posted 07-10-2010 12:46 AM ET (US)
Wow. Those are the type of moments that haunt us for life. Please don't cheapen the effect of this post and turn this into lawyer bashing or tort reform 101. Let the lesson be the lesson.
WT posted 07-10-2010 01:26 AM ET (US)
I'm glad everyone is alright.
alfred posted 07-10-2010 03:10 AM ET (US)
Gee - that was close! Glad it turned out alright. Will be having this talk with my kids now.
PeteB88 posted 07-10-2010 09:44 AM ET (US)
I will copy and paste into email and send to friends esp young drivers. You did everything you could have including driving responsibly. I recall a terrible accident years ago where the same thing happened and the mom instinctively tried to pull her child out of the street (same thing, kid ran into street, mom ran after him) and they were both hit and didn't make it. She was an employee of my uncle.
TC posted 07-10-2010 11:03 AM ET (US)
Dave/Buckda,
I am so glad everyone is okay. Don't beat yourself up too much, you're a good man.
Tony
alfa posted 07-10-2010 11:40 AM ET (US)
Dave,
we all have misfortunes.
But glad everything is ok.
All the best to you and your family.
Alain
gnr posted 07-10-2010 12:16 PM ET (US)
Something was smiling on that kid and his family when it happened to be you he ran out in front of.
I don't know you of course but based on the hundreds of posts I've read I would imagine that you had you hands at 10 and 2 and your head on a swivel and were traveling the posted limit if not a bit below.

Could have just as easily been someone hurrying down the road with a coffee between their legs and a cell phone in their hand.
You did good.
erik selis posted 07-10-2010 02:47 PM ET (US)
I've had nightmares about things like this Dave. I'm glad everything seems to have turned out alright.
Erik

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Author	Topic: Off topic - but important to you young parents and grandparents.
Buckda	posted 07-09-2010 01:14 PM ET (US) Dear forum members, Please allow me some latitude with this post, as I hope this might spare you some personal trauma and/or tragedy. Yesterday evening, there was an auto-pedestrian accident in my community. The driver of the auto was heading home after work. The route led him past a public park on a busy city street. A young boy was walking on the sidewalk with his basketball in hand. He lost control of the ball and it bounced into the street… I think you can see where this is going. And until yesterday, I’d probably tell you that such stories are perhaps “enhanced” by well-meaning citizens – to both scare children into doing the right thing and thinking about consequences, and to keep drivers alert behind the wheel. I can tell you that these stories aren’t enhanced. And the physical trauma and emotional consequences of an accident like this aren’t enhanced either. I know this with certainty, because I was the driver of the vehicle. Fortunately, and with the grace of God, the boy survived and appears to have only minor injuries. It was a relatively low-speed impact in a 25 MPH speed zone, and I had about 15 feet to decelerate further before he disappeared out of my vision. Tell your kids how difficult it is to stop for them in time. I’m not a parent, so I don’t know the proper way to deliver this message to a kid without scaring him needlessly or messing him up mentally – but make sure your kids understand. This needs to be right up there with the basics like “Don’t talk to strangers”. Don’t rely on you being there to prevent it either. This boy was walking with his mother. I’m sure she was yelling at him when he went after the ball, but it was too late. Not that it matters much right now – or at all to this young family, but I’ve been just sick all night and all morning, and my heart just breaks when I think about it. Lots of you moor your boats at marinas near busy roads, some of you live along them. Perhaps this – in the midst of summer – is a good time to remind them that balls and toys can be retrieved from the road by an adult or older sibling – and only when traffic is clear. I’m sure this mother would have bought 100 new basketballs rather than go through the experience of watching her son be hit. I know I would be on my way to Wal-Mart right now if you gave me the choice. Thank you for listening.
dscew	posted 07-09-2010 01:40 PM ET (US) I just read your post; very well said. As a practitioner who has spent many hours caring for accident victims in a level 1 trauma center emergency room, I can imagine what you're going through, and what the family of this little boy is bearing, too. I've seen the faces of both. It's nothing short of absolute anguish. I also have two daughters, both now grown, and my wife and I both continually talk to them about what can happen out there, no matter how defensive you are about driving. Believe me, it can happen to anyone, I'm sorry you're in this situation. I'm overjoyed it wasn't worse, and also happy you recognize the many dangers out there.
rgy	posted 07-09-2010 01:53 PM ET (US) [W]ow, sorry that happened but glad all seems fine! [Changed TOPIC of discussion to something completely unrelated. Please start a new thread if you wish to change the topic to something completely unrelated. Thank you. --jimh.]
contender	posted 07-09-2010 02:20 PM ET (US) Buckda: I hope the parents are as sorry as you are, I think that all three of you (as bad as it sounds) all learned a lesson. The most important thing is that everyone is OK. The sad thing is, I hope the parents of the boy clearly understand that it was AN Accident and do not come after you. I say this because when I was eight I also was struck by a car, The elderly man that struck me did not see me in the crosswalk,(I was clearly in the right with witnesses). I cold not walk for 2 weeks, lucky nothing was broken,(tell that to an 8 year old in the summer time). My parents were forgiving, I know the man was ticketed and I got to pick out any bike I wanted. Hope it works out for you the same....God Bless
Whaler_bob	posted 07-09-2010 02:22 PM ET (US) Luckily, you were in a speed zone and were obeying the posted limits. Things would have been considerably worse for both parties at 35-50mph. It seems speed limits are not enforced on secondary roads any longer. My street (100% residential- without a yellow line down the middle) has a town speed limit of 30Mph- about two years back we had a cop with RADAR set up on a side street for an afternoon pointing his set-up at our road. I was walking my dog near his car and asked him what was the fastest speed he recorded that afternoon- he said "over 60-MPH". It's just amazing how careless and thoughtless people are while driving. If you were doing 60Mph and that kid darted out in front of your car.... you'd be attending a funeral this weekend. Best wishes to both parties!
10000 Lakes	posted 07-09-2010 03:02 PM ET (US) I am so sorry for your mishap Buckda. The big guy was watching over both of you. You did nothing wrong at all. The boy will learn in the future not to chase a ball into a street much the same as we all learned what brakes were while riding down a hill on a cart we had built. Again..all around it is an accident that no one could predict. One thing I witnessed last year while paying at the window of a McDonalds was a young female in a red Grand Am go right through a red light and hit a pedestrian. The man was killed as a result. The young girl was texting while driving as I found out while in the local barber shop a month later. One of the Officers that did the investigation on this accident was talking about it while getting his haircut. This sort of accident never needed to happen at all. I wish the whole texting thing could be stopped and made illegal period by the Fed's. I see no real value in it.The cell companies are greedy and will do anything to make a buck though they know the risks.
Buckda	posted 07-09-2010 03:10 PM ET (US) I'm just thankful I saw the ball bounce into the street and was already preparing to hit it - and was on the brakes. When the boy darted after it, I added the horn and everything went slow motion. That damn truck doesn't exactly stop on a dime anyway. I was not found at fault - but it doesn't mean that I haven't (and won't) replay that moment forever in my head. It's not exactly something that is easy to forget. Hug your kids. I love them too, which is why this was so tough. I am a reading mentor to some elementary boys at a local school for the United Way and this could easily have been one of my students.
LuckyLady	posted 07-09-2010 03:45 PM ET (US) Dave, So scary what happen. Thank God it wasn't worse. So often I have thought what would I do if I did injure or was responsible for a death with my car. I am mortified just sitting here writing these words. You are a good and caring man Dave. There are people out there that would have said: "Stupid kid!" Then gone on without giving it a second thought. Rene'
pcrussell50	posted 07-09-2010 04:00 PM ET (US) Wow, Dave. Heavy. And a huge sigh of relief on the outcome. Seriously hoping you are able to avoid legal action. While it's obvious you have no culpability whatsoever, our tort system has shown again and again, that complete lack of culpability is not the least bit of an impediment to legal liability. Best, Peter
L H G	posted 07-09-2010 05:42 PM ET (US) Dave - Put your insurance Company on notice. You'll probably be hearing from a Personal Injury lawyer regardless of the circumstances. This will fall under the liability section of your policy, as Michigan No Fault only applies in vehicle-to-vehicle accidents.
rkatz	posted 07-10-2010 12:46 AM ET (US) Wow. Those are the type of moments that haunt us for life. Please don't cheapen the effect of this post and turn this into lawyer bashing or tort reform 101. Let the lesson be the lesson.
WT	posted 07-10-2010 01:26 AM ET (US) I'm glad everyone is alright.
alfred	posted 07-10-2010 03:10 AM ET (US) Gee - that was close! Glad it turned out alright. Will be having this talk with my kids now.
PeteB88	posted 07-10-2010 09:44 AM ET (US) I will copy and paste into email and send to friends esp young drivers. You did everything you could have including driving responsibly. I recall a terrible accident years ago where the same thing happened and the mom instinctively tried to pull her child out of the street (same thing, kid ran into street, mom ran after him) and they were both hit and didn't make it. She was an employee of my uncle.
TC	posted 07-10-2010 11:03 AM ET (US) Dave/Buckda, I am so glad everyone is okay. Don't beat yourself up too much, you're a good man. Tony
alfa	posted 07-10-2010 11:40 AM ET (US) Dave, we all have misfortunes. But glad everything is ok. All the best to you and your family. Alain
gnr	posted 07-10-2010 12:16 PM ET (US) Something was smiling on that kid and his family when it happened to be you he ran out in front of. I don't know you of course but based on the hundreds of posts I've read I would imagine that you had you hands at 10 and 2 and your head on a swivel and were traveling the posted limit if not a bit below. Could have just as easily been someone hurrying down the road with a coffee between their legs and a cell phone in their hand. You did good.
erik selis	posted 07-10-2010 02:47 PM ET (US) I've had nightmares about things like this Dave. I'm glad everything seems to have turned out alright. Erik