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Author Topic:   Varnishing in the dark

elaelap posted 04-01-2010 01:17 PM ET (US)
One of the many experts at this website recently emailed me when I mentioned that I was cleaning up the teak on my 1982 Montauk, specifically the RPS seat back. He suggested that if I decided to varnish after oiling, I should apply the varnish in the dark for much better results. His theory, which I'd never heard of before, was that each successive coat of varnish, when applied in the light, actually catches and permanently imprisons rays or shards of light in the varnish, which prevents the crystal clarity that experts achieve by varnishing in total darkness.
I gave it a try last night, and what a mess! Even though I carefully laid out my foam brushes, rags, thinner, etc, before I turned out the lights, I ended up getting varnish all over the place (including my clothes, shoes, baseball cap, and beer mug). But that's not really the major problem. After letting the varnish dry for four hours, I turned on the light and my RPS seat back was black...smooth, shiny jet black. Any suggestions on restoring it to its original condition?
Tony
Buckda posted 04-01-2010 01:28 PM ET (US)
Foolish Tony...FOOLish.
AZdave posted 04-01-2010 03:18 PM ET (US)
Clearly you have trapped umbrons (anti-photons) in the drying varnish. All is not lost. You will find the effect imperceptible if you boat at night.
RJG posted 04-01-2010 03:57 PM ET (US)
I have heard that you can correct the problem by applying more varnish with a nylon brush, perpendicular to the grain under a black light;)
pglein posted 04-01-2010 04:22 PM ET (US)
Oh, come on. You didn't really expect anyone to fal for this, did you?
acseatsri posted 04-01-2010 04:26 PM ET (US)
Are you sure you didn't have the can of black paint next to the varnish can and mix them up?? At any rate, I've never heard of such a thing. And I would think that fluorescent lighting would have no UV anyway.
15ft90hp posted 04-01-2010 04:36 PM ET (US)
LMAO
PeteB88 posted 04-01-2010 04:39 PM ET (US)
Say What????
Next time use a sprayer. And in the dark you do not need to worry about HVLP or California emissions standards. Make sure your hair is brushed into your favorite doo - - spar varnish will mousse up your hair for at least three months.
ratherwhalering posted 04-01-2010 06:36 PM ET (US)
If I've said it once, I've said it 1000 times...you have to use a black light Tony, and only on the last 3 coats.
Tom Hemphill posted 04-02-2010 07:43 AM ET (US)
I put an end to all my woodwork maintenance problems by applying woodgrain patterned adhesive backed contact paper to all my mahogany. It's maintenance free, and even an expert can't distinguish it from skillfully varnished wood. Plus, the wood/contact paper sandwich results in incredible strength, just like hulls produced using Boston Whaler's exclusive Unibond™ construction.
PeteB88 posted 04-02-2010 09:26 AM ET (US)
Tom - Just like the wood on the side of my 64 Squire Falcon wagon w/ spot light I had a long time ago. With electric roll down back window.
crabby posted 04-05-2010 09:49 AM ET (US)
You need to use IR goggles, especially on April 1.
Tohsgib posted 04-05-2010 12:05 PM ET (US)
You need to stick to your DAY JOB!!!!
dino54904 posted 04-05-2010 01:51 PM ET (US)
I tried that varnishing technique once but then I found out that it only works that way on April 1 of each year. Something about how the stars and planets are aligned.
elaelap posted 04-05-2010 02:31 PM ET (US)
Nick: Varnishing in the dark, using pressure washers for kickers, and various other inventive pass-times ARE my day jobs on April 1st, doncha know?
Tony
ratherwhalering posted 04-07-2010 02:08 AM ET (US)
You forgot "sailing my Outrage".
elaelap posted 04-07-2010 09:12 AM ET (US)
Nope, Rob, that one was an April 2-March 31 thought. Just wait til you see me cruising downwind in my kite-powered Montauk.
Tony

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Author	Topic: Varnishing in the dark
elaelap	posted 04-01-2010 01:17 PM ET (US) One of the many experts at this website recently emailed me when I mentioned that I was cleaning up the teak on my 1982 Montauk, specifically the RPS seat back. He suggested that if I decided to varnish after oiling, I should apply the varnish in the dark for much better results. His theory, which I'd never heard of before, was that each successive coat of varnish, when applied in the light, actually catches and permanently imprisons rays or shards of light in the varnish, which prevents the crystal clarity that experts achieve by varnishing in total darkness. I gave it a try last night, and what a mess! Even though I carefully laid out my foam brushes, rags, thinner, etc, before I turned out the lights, I ended up getting varnish all over the place (including my clothes, shoes, baseball cap, and beer mug). But that's not really the major problem. After letting the varnish dry for four hours, I turned on the light and my RPS seat back was black...smooth, shiny jet black. Any suggestions on restoring it to its original condition? Tony
Buckda	posted 04-01-2010 01:28 PM ET (US) Foolish Tony...FOOLish.
AZdave	posted 04-01-2010 03:18 PM ET (US) Clearly you have trapped umbrons (anti-photons) in the drying varnish. All is not lost. You will find the effect imperceptible if you boat at night.
RJG	posted 04-01-2010 03:57 PM ET (US) I have heard that you can correct the problem by applying more varnish with a nylon brush, perpendicular to the grain under a black light;)
pglein	posted 04-01-2010 04:22 PM ET (US) Oh, come on. You didn't really expect anyone to fal for this, did you?
acseatsri	posted 04-01-2010 04:26 PM ET (US) Are you sure you didn't have the can of black paint next to the varnish can and mix them up?? At any rate, I've never heard of such a thing. And I would think that fluorescent lighting would have no UV anyway.
15ft90hp	posted 04-01-2010 04:36 PM ET (US) LMAO
PeteB88	posted 04-01-2010 04:39 PM ET (US) Say What???? Next time use a sprayer. And in the dark you do not need to worry about HVLP or California emissions standards. Make sure your hair is brushed into your favorite doo - - spar varnish will mousse up your hair for at least three months.
ratherwhalering	posted 04-01-2010 06:36 PM ET (US) If I've said it once, I've said it 1000 times...you have to use a black light Tony, and only on the last 3 coats.
Tom Hemphill	posted 04-02-2010 07:43 AM ET (US) I put an end to all my woodwork maintenance problems by applying woodgrain patterned adhesive backed contact paper to all my mahogany. It's maintenance free, and even an expert can't distinguish it from skillfully varnished wood. Plus, the wood/contact paper sandwich results in incredible strength, just like hulls produced using Boston Whaler's exclusive Unibond™ construction.
PeteB88	posted 04-02-2010 09:26 AM ET (US) Tom - Just like the wood on the side of my 64 Squire Falcon wagon w/ spot light I had a long time ago. With electric roll down back window.
crabby	posted 04-05-2010 09:49 AM ET (US) You need to use IR goggles, especially on April 1.
Tohsgib	posted 04-05-2010 12:05 PM ET (US) You need to stick to your DAY JOB!!!!
dino54904	posted 04-05-2010 01:51 PM ET (US) I tried that varnishing technique once but then I found out that it only works that way on April 1 of each year. Something about how the stars and planets are aligned.
elaelap	posted 04-05-2010 02:31 PM ET (US) Nick: Varnishing in the dark, using pressure washers for kickers, and various other inventive pass-times ARE my day jobs on April 1st, doncha know? Tony
ratherwhalering	posted 04-07-2010 02:08 AM ET (US) You forgot "sailing my Outrage".
elaelap	posted 04-07-2010 09:12 AM ET (US) Nope, Rob, that one was an April 2-March 31 thought. Just wait til you see me cruising downwind in my kite-powered Montauk. Tony